Friday, July 29, 2016

July Report Card

Except for the extreme heat and lack of rain (heard a fire hydrant whistling for a dog the other day) the old garden isn’t looking too bad.

The Eustoma are amazing, and the Echinacea are providing sterling service. The Lantana, too, has been flowering relentlessly, as has the waterlily 


The portulaca are putting in a lot of effort but the begonias could try harder. I must also congratulate the white cosmos, a new addition that is showing a lot of enthusiasm.

Naturally, I publicly congratulated them all; a bit of positive feedback encourages the performers and, I hope, embarrasses the duds (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!).

I’ve certainly done my bit — tender loving care administered without a hint of favoritism.

I wish it would rain. My old oak rain barrel is beginning to look like a picket fence.

Friday, June 24, 2016

Slugfest in the Garden

It’s lurking in your garden — one of the worst killers encountered in horticulture. Not only does it kill; it maims and tortures too. If they weren’t so easily recognized by every gardener in the world, there would be wanted posters for this pest everywhere.

  • It is a voracious eater
  • It has disgusting habits
  • It is sloppy and slimy
  • It has a serious drinking problem
  • And it causes adults to squirm at the very sight of one

Slugs! They are the bane of gardeners everywhere. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t hate them. Even my live and let live philosophy weakens at the sight of a slug. Ugh! If it weren't for my steely nerve, I’d squirm too.

Gardeners are desperate to rid their yards of slugs. I could give you a list a mile long of techniques people have tried for dispatching this marauding mollusk. Sure, some of these tricks work, but only to a point. It seems the more slugs you slaughter, the more there are, no doubt a result of their squalid little sex lives. They bring a whole new meaning to monogamy — if you don't know, don’t ask; it's all part of slug evolution. Evolution? That’s a joke. I’d say slugs are at a bit of a standstill.

However, in yet another attempt to wipe out the slugs in my yard, I thought this year I 'd try a different approach, an approach based on the fact slugs have no friends, other than their nasty sluggy buddies. What with the whole world hating them and trying to kill them (and failing miserably), I wondered if slugs might just react differently if they thought someone, or something, actually liked them, or cared for them.

I had this great idea of using reverse psychology to make them go away. Instead of attacking them every step (and stomp) of the way, I decided to go to great lengths to befriend them, to show them compassion, even love them (okay, I may have had to fake it a bit). My theory was that this would prove devastating to their little sluggy psyches. I intended to kill them with kindness.

I began by setting out some of their favourite food on the patio — marigolds and hosta leaves, and some beer of course, but in a shallow container so they couldn't fall in and drown. I also swept the patio first to get rid of any sharp bits that might snag their little sluggy tummies. It certainly attracted them; they showed up in droves.

They were so confused by these seemingly random acts of kindness, they didn't know whether they were coming or going, which isn't surprising. They're a bit like the VW beetle that way — from a distance it's hard to tell which end is the front.

After a few days I had them exactly where I wanted them, eating out of my hand (ugh). This is when I began playing a few mind games. I thought, we’ll just see who’s well balanced around my yard. Now that I had their confidence I invited them to share a beer and chips with me — SALT AND VINEGAR — my favourites. I figured one chomp and they'd shrivel right up. They drank the beer of course, but they wouldn’t go near the chips. I don’t think they trusted me; they turned up their noses at them.

Noses? I’m not sure if slugs have noses. They do have eyes. I know that because they stick right out on the end when they get excited. One of them was obviously half-drunk and quite belligerent. He tried using his "eyes" to stare me down. Next thing you know we got into a staring contest. After 15 minutes I began to get nervous. I thought, if this sucker wins it’ll be slug anarchy around here. I stomped on it. That kinda put the end to the killing with kindness experiment.

I’m afraid my slugs don’t have a very high opinion of me now. I guess the feeling is mutual. I decided to go back to my old method for dealing with them. Instead of hand feeding, I’m hand picking. I try to dispatch them as humanely as possible — even accidentally. That way I don't feel too guilty. I use my garden clippers to gently pick them up and . . . oops, oops, oops.


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Friday, May 13, 2016

Macho Gardening

Gardening a macho pastime? I don't think so. Lots of men must garden of course, but you wouldn't think so judging by the people passing through the garden centers and nurseries. I've been spending a fair bit of time in them this spring and they're always packed with women.

I'm often the only guy in the place. Oh, there's the odd man present — dragged there against his will. I usually spot him kicking the tires on the wheelbarrows, or browsing the tool display, checking out all that tungsten steel and carbon fiber — macho materials. He won't go near the flowers and vegetables; they're just not tough enough.

You can hardly blame the guys. They're overloaded with genes that attract them to power equipment like slugs to hostas. Give a guy a garden job and he'll find the horsepower to accomplish it, and with as much noise as possible. Mowers and blowers, chippers and clippers — that's gardening! What's the use of a lawn if it's not big enough to handle a riding mower? Garden work to men is spreading fertilizer, tuning up the tools, hosing down the patio, even painting the driveway. Definitely not fiddling with flowers.

Gardening has traditionally been the women's job — something to keep her busy between fixing meals and doing laundry by hand for a family of fifteen. Man's thing was ploughing fields and felling trees — a different kind of nurturing. Just don’t call it that.

The fundamentals are all there; it's just a matter of redirecting their focus, and it's happening. Men are beginning to reveal their nurturing side. They're changing diapers and hugging their kids, even ordering the pizza. With a little re-training they might enjoy tending a garden. They already appreciate a nice landscape; they just don't know it.

Every weekend golf courses are crowded with guys whacking little balls around a vista that could have been designed by Capability Brown, except I'm not sure they even notice it. They're too busy getting terribly frustrated because the ball never goes where they want it to go. It must be so stressful. If it weren't for the calming effect of the pastoral scene they'd be whacking each other around (green rage).

I've nothing against golf. It's just that men need to learn that gardening is healthier, more fulfilling. Once that ball is dropped in the cup, that's it! Nothing else happens. It's non-productive, and they always come home disappointed. If they tried dropping little plants into holes, instead of little balls, then watching them grow, they'd be winners every time.

So how are you going to bring out the gardening nature in a man? You could take advantage of his competitive instinct by giving him a packet of monster pumpkin seeds and telling him nobody's ever grown one bigger than fifty pounds. You know, plant the seed! I know one woman who had great success using a subliminal technique. She cut pictures out of garden magazines and pasted them into her husband's copy of Sports Illustrated. I'm not sure what the pictures were, but the following week he went out and switched his subscription to Roots and Fruits.

I think the marketing people could help a lot too. If they can convince a whole nation to tune in to the Stanley Cup in the middle of June, then surely they can turn men on to gardening. They're missing a huge opportunity.

Can you imagine the effect of placing a picture of Rory McIlroy on every packet of pansy seed? What would happen if Captain America was a guest host discussing delphiniums on the Martha Stewart show? I know it's a bit sexist, but how about using Beyonce or Kim Kardashian (never thought I’d ever write that name) to sell bedding plants. Men would be browsing seed catalogs all winter.

Think of it, though, a world full of gardeners. Flowers everywhere. Macho male world leaders getting together for a photo opportunity as they turn a compost heap. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Everyone growing — happier, healthier, and peacefully.

So here's your chance to change the world. Father's day is coming up. Instead of the hardware store, why not drop into the garden center. Forget the aftershave — give dad a sunflower seed in a pot and challenge him to grow one bigger than his buddy can. Manipulate his machismo!

Friday, May 6, 2016

Enough is Never Enough

I plant far too much stuff in my garden. I can’t help it. I drop in at a garden centre for a couple of plants and I come home with a couple of flats. It’s less expensive if you fill the whole flat, they tell me at the cash register. So back I go to fill the thing, even though I only have two plants in it. Then I find I still have a couple too many so I fill the second flat.

It’s not that I don’t possess a degree of logic and the ability to make calculations in my head that would show it’s costing me more. That’s not the reason. The reason is the season.

In spring I have to plant and plant and plant. I admire people that can enter a garden centre with a list and leave the place with no more items purchased than were on their list. At any other store I can do this, but not where plants are concerned. It must have something to do with survival — the instinct to ensure there’ll be a good crop by fall. Except it’s mostly flowering plants I’m buying.
As for vegetables, it’s a much simpler process. I plant most from seed — beans, peas, lettuce, zucchini. In the veggie garden I worry less about how it looks or whether the colours are coordinated.

I’ve come to the conclusion that planting my garden is like doing a jigsaw puzzle without a picture to go by and, if you’ve ever completed a jigsaw puzzle, you’ll know that the pieces with flowers or foliage are the hardest ones to place. On top of that, I’m always missing pieces or having to force in extra ones.

I typically take an extended walking tour of my property doing just that — trying to find the perfect spot for whatever plant is in my hand. Prefers shade says the tag, but the best shady corner is full. There’s space in another shady spot, but the plant in my hand is too large for that location. There’s only one more option, but the colour is all wrong and it will clash terribly — too bad, I’ll relocate the one that’s beside it. If I can’t find a space, I’ll fill another planter — there’s still room on the deck for a couple more.

Days later I begin again with another trunk load. I know it’s madness, but I love it. Despite the
turmoil and frenzy of planting that I go through each May, it’s the best of times and it only gets better as the garden grows lush and more colourful throughout the season.

Friday, April 29, 2016

Garden work work work work work work (Rihanna)

Watching my backyard slowly reappear over the last week or two has been like watching a photograph develop. It’s hardly poster quality, but at least I can walk down the garden path again. Not much is happening out there yet, but it won’t be long, and I’m raring to go, along with all the other gardeners revving their engines.

Except, what if you’re feeling overwhelmed at the sight of a naked yard that reminds you of your worst vacation photo. As long as the place was covered in snow it was easy to avoid, but now there it is, an empty lot covered in scruffy, boring grass, glaring at you. It won’t go away. It will demand attention until winter returns, but what will it provide in return? — Not much more than another record breaking water bill.

You know that’s not what you want; you want a beautifully landscaped yard, always did, but never got around to it. Where to start, what plants to purchase, where to place them? Maybe you attended one of the garden shows and came home filled with inspiration, but you still feel intimidated by the whole process. 

If only you could wave a magic wand, or at least a magic credit card, it would all be taken care of. But there’s no fun in that, and besides, landscaping isn’t something that has to be completed overnight. The transformation might be exciting, but think of your poor mail carrier getting lost in unfamiliar territory.

No, take a deep breath, relax, and understand that landscaping your yard can be a slow, enjoyable process. This is an opportunity to discover your creative nature, and don’t ever think you don’t have one. Constructing an attractive garden may well surprise you.


Will there be work? — Yes, lots, but garden work is not the same kind of work as the mind numbing, soul destroying, and stress inducing toil that can fill your day from nine to five. In fact, it’s the complete antidote to that kind of work; it’s exercise in disguise. Garden work can invigorate and restore the body, and also the soul. 

In the words of the Canadian Horticultural Therapy Association, horticultural therapy improves the social, spiritual, physical, and emotional well-being of individuals who participate in it -- that is, working in a garden. 

So what’s stopping you? Oh yes, a plan. It’s probably a good idea to have a plan, otherwise you may make mistakes, and that will mean more work, and then you'll be stuck with a toned and perfect body and a blissful smile. 

Friday, April 22, 2016

Earth Day Everyday

Did someone say Earth Day? With all the media attention on budgets, possible elections and of course, the Stanley cup, Earth Day can easily be sidelined, so I’m doing my bit for Earth Day by mentioning Earth Day.

I try to approach every day as Earth Day around my garden. It isn’t hard as I’ve always avoided using pesticides and herbicides, but now that pesticides are largely banned, we’re all doing our bit, like it or not, and the world hasn’t ended.

Sure, it’s more of a challenge to produce a perfect weed free lawn, but that’s never been my goal. I’ve preferred to plant plants and shrubs as they’re much more interesting. At least newer environmentally friendly products are being marketed. Iron or vinegar based herbicides are available, and although they may not be as effective on lawns as the chemical products that were banned, they do help, and they work quite well on weeds that grow in patios and driveways. Meanwhile, I’ll continue pulling weeds by hand which isn’t difficult as I don’t have many, thanks to mulching every bit of bare soil in sight, including that in containers.

Dealing with insects in a garden has always been a challenge, but I never believed blanket spraying with insecticides was the answer. Of course, I do get insect problems. The red lily beetle ravished my lilies terribly. What an eyesore. I solved it by giving up on lilies for a couple of years. I’ve planted a few new bulbs this year to see if I’ve fooled the beetles into abandoning my garden.

Of all the insects in a garden, only a minority are a problem. Most others are beneficial. In fact, killing off the beneficial insects only compounds the problem as an unbalance is created. In nature, no one species gets the upper hand for long. They all have their enemies and it’s just a matter of time before one shows up. It’s not only other insects that provide control. Birds do their bit, too, and there’s no finer sight than a flock of starlings cleaning out the grubs in a lawn. Is it me, or are there a lot more birds around now?

Fortunately, apart from plagues of locust, most insect pests feed on specific plants, so don’t harm everything. I grow a wide range of plants in my garden and it lessens apparent damage. If just one type of plant is affected, there’s always another that looks just fine. It also helps somewhat by confusing insects as they have to figure out where a plant is in my garden before they can eat it. Consequently, the garden usually looks fine overall.

Weeds and insects have always been the bane of the gardener and always will be. Making adjustments, growing different varieties, and working with nature to maintain the balance are ways to garden in an earth friendly way. If all else fails, leave off the bifocals or reading glasses when in the garden and take five steps backwards. Weeds and insect damage will vanish like magic.

Friday, April 15, 2016

Spring Bounced In

Even though the snow dump on the patio was fighting a meltdown and the lawn a squishy, soggy mess, the glorious weather last weekend made it a joy to rediscover my garden. Although the snow cover stayed longer than it normally does, it didn’t bother the plants below. The crocuses must have been bursting to bloom because as soon as the snow vanished, they flowered. A hellebore, which usually suffers from late winter weather, benefited from the deep snow drift that covered it all winter, is thinking of flowering.

Green shoots of other plants are poking up, many of which are familiar as they’re old timers, but I’m afraid I’m at a loss to identify others until they give me more clues, like leaves, or even flowers. It’s partly because I planted new stuff last fall and moved a few things around, but I do tend to forget where I plant things. In fact, I discovered a plant tag thrust aside by a clump of crocus. I planted something new there last fall not realizing there were crocus below.

I do keep notes and photographs taken at different times throughout the growing season to help keep track of what is where, but when I’m in the garden I’m reluctant to return indoors. Instead, I make a mental note to check it out later, except those mental notes tend to get misplaced when I’m having so much fun puttering about on a beautiful spring day.

And besides, it’s been almost half a year since I last worked in the garden, around the middle of November when I crammed everything into the shed. Is it any wonder I might have forgotten a few things? By the time summer rolls around, I’ll have everything sorted out.

Right now, there are plenty of things to keep me busy. I’ve cut back all my ornamental grasses. It was quite a crop, almost too much for the compost pile. They’re slow to break down unless they’re chopped up, so I save some of those long clumps of stalks to use as mulch between the rows in a vegetable garden. I’m cutting back the stalks of perennials to make way for new growth and cleaning up the mushy leaves of my hostas. It’s not a job for the squeamish as you never know what might be lurking beneath, a slug or two most likely.

Toss the leaves on the compost pile then scuff up the soil a little to expose any slug eggs to spring frosts. This will finish them off before they get chance to start munching.  This is also the time of year, just at the moment when leaf tips are showing a little green, to spray a dormant oil mix on any shrubs or trees that are particularly susceptible to insect damage or fungal diseases. I’ve found it useful in controlling black spot on roses. I spray the soil lightly around the roses too.

As for my one climbing rose, it does need attention. The dead wood and stringy branches with rose hips need to be removed, and I really need to try and bend some of the younger canes horizontally to encourage more blooms. It’s always a challenge, and I rarely escape unscathed, but at this time of year, anything job in the garden is fun.